I’m a huge fan of natural beauty both in humans and in our little pooch friends. But this past weekend I saw a woman who looked like natural beauty Amanda Lepore (warning: clicking the link may cause stints of blindness, curable by rinsing with plenty of bleach).

That got me thinking, I’m sure there have never been any drastic aesthetics performed to dogs outside the “normal” haircut and grooming necessities to make dogs look ‘pretty‘.

Boy was I WRONG!

I did a little research and found out that lots of individuals would want braces for their dog and would love to get eye contacts for their pooch (surprisingly with such a demanding market I would think some sort of manufactuer would have exploited such stupidity created it by now).

That got me thinking, this plastic surgery-infected specimen of a human that I saw this past weekend also had a horrible dye job–and thus querying “dog dye job” into my good old friend Google. This brought me ample amounts of  ethical abuse to innocent loving animals that wish could shoot themselves. Not only is dying your dog’s hair for your own vanity stupid and unethical, but can also poison your pooch.

On with the pictures:

(this is my favorite! looks like a panda and only the Japanese would make it look “kind of” classy”)

(I guess dying your dogs in China makes them taste better before cooking them)

(looks like Sweetie but dipped in radioactive goo)

You get the idea! Ultimately there will be idiots who will dye their dog’s hair, and if they do, they should not use human hair dye–as it can cause irritation and discomfort. They should use Kool-aid so their little pooch doesn’t ingest the poison to satisfy their own inconsiderate vanity.

I’d say if anyone dyes their dog’s hair the dog should also wear a Poop trap, just for added COOL points.

Hello Fido-Friends, My day was nuts today! Do you ever have one of those days where Mom plans your day from 6 am til 6 pm with no time to relax, play with your toys or maybe nap a few hours? Well my day started with meeting Jennifer from D Is For Doggy. It was my first day walking on a leash and not perched up high like I usually am in my bag, so it was a little strange walking on the cold smelly sidewalks.

My first training session was fun and delicious. Jennifer had the best treats in the whole world! Some tasted like chicken, others like beef. Though I didn’t like the fish treat. She made me walk around Union Square while squeaking a toy that I couldn’t see; I didn’t really understand the point of it but it didn’t matter as I got a yummy treat each time I looked at her.

Mom got cold watching me so we said “goodbye” to Jennifer and ran home. I had my late morning meal and thought I would snooze a little. Nope. Mom scooped me up and away we ran a few blocks to Downtown Doghouse. This is a very cool store. They have the coolest accessories for little guys like me.

I was a little confused why Mom left but thought I was going to play with their toys and taste their gourmet treats. Of course that wasn’t the case and I got my first haircut. Yuck! I was on my four paws for what felt like forever.

Mom finally showed up with my big sister Sweetie. Again we ran home. Sweetie wouldn’t let me run past her. But one of these days I’m going to scoot past her.

At home, I had to pose for a few pictures (guys, no laughing) before I got a big bowl of my favorite kibble and went right to bed. Doesn’t Mom know not to plan so much in one day? I’m only 13 weeks old! — Rosco

Your four-legged buddy has exited the dog run after hours of playtime and you’re walking home contemplating how to clean him up.

To avoid the “great escape” from your bathtub to the nearest exit, here are some easy steps to achieve a squeaky clean dog.

1 – Brush your dog’s coat before bathing him. A good brushing removed unwanted tangles and loosens dirt. This will also make your job easier once you start the bathing process. Brushing also stimulates the natural oils in your dog’s hair.

2 – Be organized! Think through all the items you need before getting your dog wet. Have all your items nearby, within arms reach. You will need gentle dog shampoo (avoid baby shampoo as the chemcials are not meant for sensitive dog skin). If your dog has thick long hair, you may want to have a scrub brush. Have lots of towels, old ones will do just fine. I recommend having a colar and leash to control your dog during the bathing process. Make sure you put cotton balls in their ears to avoid any future unpleasant ear infections. Ask your veterinarian for a special ear rinse.

3 – Dogs are warmer than we are, so set the water temperature accordingly. Depending on the size of your dog the kitchen sink or tub will do the trick. Just remember to close the door to avoid the “great escape!” Make certain that your dog is thoroughly wet before applying the shampoo. Massage the shampoo into the coat and play extra attention to the tummy and butt area. Rinse several times with warm water and massage to get out shampoo residue. Dogs can experience skin irritation due to shampoo not thoroughly rinsed from their coats.

4 – Once your sure all the shampoo is out of your dog’s coat and down the drain it’s time to towel dry your dog. I like to get a big beach towel to wrap Sweetie in it. Of course dogs will naturally dry themselves. To avoid dog splatter on the ceiling, try holding the towel a few inches above their bodies as they shake off the water.

5 – Hug your clean pooch and give ‘em an extra big treat!

If after reading this you still aren’t up to the task of washing your dog in your home, there are many groomers in the city that will be more than willing to help you out.

By D. Sharon Pruitt

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